i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
