On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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