if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
