I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
