Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
