I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
