So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
