I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
