Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
