I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is Oprah even human
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
