So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
