i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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