Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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