Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize