Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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