Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
