I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
