So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
