He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
