peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize