My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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