Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize