he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
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i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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