a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize