I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
