Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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