he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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