i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
