I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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