My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm getting married
To pizza
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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