got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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