just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
