i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He passed out mid-signature
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
