Where did you get a picture of my penis
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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