that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
this hospital has no fireball
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
