Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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