I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
