I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
