Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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