I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
third nipple confirmed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
