Just fell off a train. Bad.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
