Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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