you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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