Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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