this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
