is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
