And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pants are for mortals
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
