i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
