ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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