Umm I'm too high to move.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
