Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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