oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
