My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
