ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize