You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
