I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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