your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
