Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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