Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
