i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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