dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
