So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
